A Valentine’s Guide
Valentine’s Day isn’t just about flowers and chocolates – it’s a perfect time to reflect on love and how you and your partner communicate about finances. Money is often a source of tension, but by understanding your love languages and applying our FOCUS model, you can turn financial discussions into opportunities for connection.
Have You Heard Of Love Languages?
These are referenced a lot in financial coaching, and there are many quizzes available to help you identify yours. Created by Dr. Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Each of these can influence how you prioritise spending in your relationship. For example, someone who values Quality Time might prefer investing in shared experiences like holidays or date nights, while someone with a focus on Acts of Service may prioritise spending on things that reduce stress, like hiring help around the house.
Understanding your love language and your partners can make financial decisions feel less transactional and more meaningful. It’s not just about what you spend but why you spend it. This insight can help couples align their financial goals and avoid misunderstandings. For instance, a partner who values Receiving Gifts might see an unexpected present as a sign of love, while another focused on Words of Affirmation might prefer a heartfelt note instead.
This article may help you align your love language with your financial habits.
Take a quiz and find your Love Language Here
Our FOCUS Model
To help couples navigate financial conversations, our FOCUS model provides an easy framework.
Start by establishing a strong Foundation with shared goals and values.
Open Communication is key – being honest about debts, savings, and financial dreams creates trust. Collaborate to create plans that work for both of you, and take time to
Understand each other’s habits and priorities.
Finally, Strengthen your bond by celebrating wins together and learning from setbacks.
As a certified financial coach, I often help couples address the emotional side of money. Talking about finances isn’t just about spreadsheets; it’s about understanding the deeper emotions and values tied to money decisions. Many couples avoid these discussions out of fear or embarrassment but avoiding them can create distance. Open, empathetic conversations about money can foster trust, connection, and a stronger partnership
This Valentine’s Day, why not set aside time for a meaningful money talk?
Use what you know about your love languages to guide the conversation and apply the FOCUS model to create a plan that works for both of you. Whether it’s setting joint savings goals or simply understanding each other’s spending priorities, these discussions can strengthen both your financial and emotional bond.
Love and money don’t have to be stressful – they can be a foundation for growth and connection.
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